Salutations snack...

...I literally thought this just now, while reaching for my caffeine free diet Pepsi. I have a preference for solid foods as a snack--such as chocolate, I enjoy chocolate. Instead, I've been eating a lot of sugar free cherry jello lately. It's still kind of sweet, and with it's dictator influenced mini cups, I have portion control, assuming I'll eat just the one. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

The brigade of thoughts I find myself directing towards sustenance, would cause even the faint of humor to stifle a dry laugh. Why not write this down. Why not let the tip of my self proclaimed "neurotic iceberg" show, and let those of you out there (and after working as a food addict counselor, I know you ARE in fact out there) read my ridiculous thoughts, and feel in comparison, slightly more secure in your own skin.

I had a debate yesterday afternoon, between my self, and I. It lasted roughly 58 minutes. The 58 minutes that it took to stumble through my upper body workout with Tony Horton and a couple other "hard bodies" in the p90X series. This is the series said to ''totally shred and make you ripped out of your mind" with that oh-so-BRO attitude that makes you feel like a bad ass for 5 minutes, until you find your morale dropping to a low as you realize it's you've lost your momentum in the warm up. The debate, went as follows:

Self: Well I've only be awake for like 3 hours, and I ate (cut to calculating in my head with my eyes literally looking upwards to do so) like 500 calories tops. So, I can probably do this later on and get more out of it, I definitely don't have the energy stored to execute a feat such as this.

I: Dammit, do this you big baby. HE'S doing it (jutting my chin out towards my work out buddy looking significantly more into it then my self) do NOT quit this, you are such a wimp.

Self: Ya, but I promise I'll do it later, on the roof deck, it'll be cooler, it'll make you breathe better and then you'll get a better work out, let's just quit

And at this point I actually say a version of this thought masked in a positive lucid tone, to my work out buddy, which he shuts down. Well done workout buddy, you did your job! And I begrudgingly carry on with my knee ups and my leaps that are entirely half-ass as I continue to debate things out in my head.

Self: I'm quitting, he's being mean, I won't do this. I'm also going to go eat some cereal, and some of that Redstone chocolate in the freezer, and I'll just quit eating tomorrow, forever, and for some reason, that makes sense to me right now and that's what I'm doing...

I: Dammit Jae, you quit us this time and you'll be whining about the size of your ass for EVER, do it or ill cut your arm off (or something as equally ridiculous, being that I know I will never actually inflict physical pain on myself, but still...)

It went on like this, back and forth, resulting in a headache until I finished the upper body workout. Of course, after finishing such a great work out and feeling the tidal wave splash of endorphins, I was once again a believer in Tony Horton and his brawny band of bros and babes.

Get through it, fight it out, and do it. It's worth it. Upon making it through such a mental mutiny, I feel like I'm bad ass all over again. But to be honest, and I swear dear reader, I always will be, it's 2:14pm and I have 90 minutes of yoga looming in front of me. I'll try and remember how that potent high of endorphins felt after my last work out, and how strong and free it made me feel in this skin of mine. There's of course the fact that there will always be a reason; an excuse, a food, a t.v. show, an ailment, a some thing or an other, that will tempt me to not go through with what is best for my self. The important thing is that I remember that one of my greatest talents...is to ignore! Keep the blinders on and push through it. It's not easy for anyone, all the time.

And so then, I'll depart, I'll sip my soda, and possibly watch the infomercial - p90X: THE PROOF one more time to get me into that downward dog for 90 minutes.

-Jae,TONED ZONE