charmed

The humorist, Erma Bombeck was one of my favorite writers. I especially love her comments about dieting. I so identify with her when she moaned about having been on a constant diet for decades and having lost over 700 pounds in that time. Then she says “by all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.” Me too, Erma.

me

St Augustine said—“men go forth to wonder at the heights of mountains, the huge waves of the sea, the broad flow of the rivers, the vast compass of the ocean, the course of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.” Just for today, I am getting to know the wonders of myself, focusing on listening to and caring for me here and now.

icecream, i scream.

This past week I put my baby (18 year old baby, that is) on the greyhound bus, off to another extended volleyball adventure. Something about seeing that greyhound bus drive away flipped me right into a tailspin of emptiness, feeling a sink hole deep in my mother heart. Before I knew it, and certainly before the bus was out of town, I found myself sitting in the DQ drive through with a large mint oreo blizzard in my hand. Where did that come from? Perhaps it was my feeble attempt to fill the sink hole in my heart with ice-cream. Predictably, the ice-cream didn’t fill my empty heart, but only the fat cells on my thighs. (My sister tells me she is taking out stock in DQ for this, my year of transition from emptying nest to emptied nest). A simple walk with a friend would have relieved the emptiness illusion much more effectively while strengthening, rather than fattening my thighs. I could have bypassed the DQ and gone straight to the hills for a walk. Remember, remember, sugar never was happiness nor was it love, nor was it relief from any of life’s challenges.

the fork in the road

It seems that whenever I see a fork in the road ahead, I pick it up and eat (I DID say fork, didn’t I!). Anyway, I have some major decisions to make in my life in the next months, and I am feeling the fork in the road syndrome—eating in anticipation of the upcoming fork. Would life be easier then, with no choices to make? I heard a phrase once used, “the freedom of no choice”, asserting that sometimes simply having choices before us is stifling and imprisoning because of the overwhelming confusion it may cause, leading us to freeze in our tracks, incapable of choosing. I am not advocating a life with no choices, but sometimes it does seem that it would be easier to have only one choice for breakfast, one choice for lunch, and one choice for dinner with no alternatives in between. And, not just food choices, but life choices as well. How little risk and anxiety there would be if I could see my path straight ahead of me for the next 50 years and know exactly what is going to happen-- no unexpected forks or spoons or knives for that matter. For those of us who love to eat, a fork in the road is just that—a fork in the road.

on and on we go...

Someone once said that we are spirits having a human experience; not humans having the occasional spiritual experience. Last month, my dear friend and colleague (Donna) was killed tragically in a horse related accident just three days after retiring from her nursing job. When I met Donna, I knew that I had met a kindred spirit. I have thought of her wonderful life and how abruptly it was taken from her—a succinct reminder of how fragile the human part of experience is. And because this human part is so fragile and labile, how important it is to continually nourish the spiritual component of life. The bonus, of course, is that everything I do to nourish my body (nutritious life giving food, exercise, play, air, water, etc.) also nourishes my spirit. Concomitantly, the activities I pursue to nurture my spirit (giving, sharing, serving, praying and pondering, etc.) bring health and vitality to my body. My dear Donna was a positive example of both—caring well for her body while caring well for others. Her spirit continues and I am confident she continues to spread kindness and love wherever she goes. Now, she can do it much faster and to a much wider circle of people than she could while merely human. God bless you Donna. I will miss you terribly, and look forward to that day when we will take a long walk together in that eternal sphere where there is no pain, parting, or sorrow.