Verbally Exhaling

downsizing

2010-11-01T19:01:00.001-07:00

I am wondering if there is a correlation between excess weight and an excess of possessions. I gave away my living room furniture today—don’t need so much furniture for myself. Its time to pare down possessions and pare down cellulite. Wonder if getting rid of excess possessions will naturally stop excess food consumption and excess weight. Downsizing in more ways than one.

still learning

2010-10-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

Times of transition are particularly challenging to me. I am still shell shocked about the fact that my children have all grown up. Was I in a fog for 25 years not realizing this was happening, or was I just eating my way through the decades, not knowing that so many years had passed? Food is and has been the constant in my life—it doesn’t grow up and leave me; I eat it first then quickly replace it. Weight loss seems to be a similar story; lose, gain, lose, gain, lose gain. Every time I am certain that I have finally ended the battle, a new battalion of cellulite rises from the ashes, and challenges me to battle one more time. I have even spent some years proclaiming that the fat war was over and the fat won; but, I can’t even stick with that! Here it comes back again and I remind myself that I am still learning.

body wisdom

2010-08-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

August 15, 2010
The other day I ran into a colleague that I haven’t seen in awhile and was shocked to see her looking so lean, healthy, and vibrant. When I commented on this, she said that she had lost 50 pounds in the past several months. Naturally, the next question was, how? Like me, she is one who has tried many diets and spent years going up and down the scale. This time, she looked at the root of the problem rather than trying another band aid solution. As many of us chronic dieters know, food is not the problem; self-discipline is not the problem; desire is not the problem. So what is the problem. She, like me, was using food as a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, fear and so forth. After doing online counseling and identifying her food demons, she had begun to use food for what food is for—physical nourishment. I listened more intently as she shared what she had learned and how this learning had changed her view of food, dieting, weight, stress and so forth. A key point in the plan was that all food fits when eaten in response to physical hunger. Our bodies have the wisdom to signal us when food is needed and to again signal when they have had enough. As I am learning and pondering these bites (no pun intended), I am trusting my body to tell me what it needs and when it needs it and how much it needs.

charmed

2010-07-28T17:21:00.000-07:00

The humorist, Erma Bombeck was one of my favorite writers. I especially love her comments about dieting. I so identify with her when she moaned about having been on a constant diet for decades and having lost over 700 pounds in that time. Then she says “by all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.” Me too, Erma.

me

2010-07-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

St Augustine said—“men go forth to wonder at the heights of mountains, the huge waves of the sea, the broad flow of the rivers, the vast compass of the ocean, the course of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.” Just for today, I am getting to know the wonders of myself, focusing on listening to and caring for me here and now.

icecream, i scream.

2010-07-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

This past week I put my baby (18 year old baby, that is) on the greyhound bus, off to another extended volleyball adventure. Something about seeing that greyhound bus drive away flipped me right into a tailspin of emptiness, feeling a sink hole deep in my mother heart. Before I knew it, and certainly before the bus was out of town, I found myself sitting in the DQ drive through with a large mint oreo blizzard in my hand. Where did that come from? Perhaps it was my feeble attempt to fill the sink hole in my heart with ice-cream. Predictably, the ice-cream didn’t fill my empty heart, but only the fat cells on my thighs. (My sister tells me she is taking out stock in DQ for this, my year of transition from emptying nest to emptied nest). A simple walk with a friend would have relieved the emptiness illusion much more effectively while strengthening, rather than fattening my thighs. I could have bypassed the DQ and gone straight to the hills for a walk. Remember, remember, sugar never was happiness nor was it love, nor was it relief from any of life’s challenges.

the fork in the road

2010-07-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

It seems that whenever I see a fork in the road ahead, I pick it up and eat (I DID say fork, didn’t I!). Anyway, I have some major decisions to make in my life in the next months, and I am feeling the fork in the road syndrome—eating in anticipation of the upcoming fork. Would life be easier then, with no choices to make? I heard a phrase once used, “the freedom of no choice”, asserting that sometimes simply having choices before us is stifling and imprisoning because of the overwhelming confusion it may cause, leading us to freeze in our tracks, incapable of choosing. I am not advocating a life with no choices, but sometimes it does seem that it would be easier to have only one choice for breakfast, one choice for lunch, and one choice for dinner with no alternatives in between. And, not just food choices, but life choices as well. How little risk and anxiety there would be if I could see my path straight ahead of me for the next 50 years and know exactly what is going to happen-- no unexpected forks or spoons or knives for that matter. For those of us who love to eat, a fork in the road is just that—a fork in the road.

on and on we go...

2010-07-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

Someone once said that we are spirits having a human experience; not humans having the occasional spiritual experience. Last month, my dear friend and colleague (Donna) was killed tragically in a horse related accident just three days after retiring from her nursing job. When I met Donna, I knew that I had met a kindred spirit. I have thought of her wonderful life and how abruptly it was taken from her—a succinct reminder of how fragile the human part of experience is. And because this human part is so fragile and labile, how important it is to continually nourish the spiritual component of life. The bonus, of course, is that everything I do to nourish my body (nutritious life giving food, exercise, play, air, water, etc.) also nourishes my spirit. Concomitantly, the activities I pursue to nurture my spirit (giving, sharing, serving, praying and pondering, etc.) bring health and vitality to my body. My dear Donna was a positive example of both—caring well for her body while caring well for others. Her spirit continues and I am confident she continues to spread kindness and love wherever she goes. Now, she can do it much faster and to a much wider circle of people than she could while merely human. God bless you Donna. I will miss you terribly, and look forward to that day when we will take a long walk together in that eternal sphere where there is no pain, parting, or sorrow.

i am, that i am

2010-05-31T19:30:00.001-07:00

I love my voice teacher. What I love most about her, is the beautiful feminine confidence that she exudes in her manner and dress; this, despite her substantial girth. I am sure that she must be 50 or more pounds overweight, and yet she dresses so beautifully with accessories and color. I see her as such a beautiful feminine person; and, besides teaching me voice, she is also teaching me to love how I look, and dress with greater care and beauty no matter what I have eaten or not eaten that day. I love her confidence and the fact that she never comments on her size or appearance. She just is, and that’s refreshing.

just desserts

2010-05-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

This week a friend sent me a witticism lauding the benefits of desserts, drawing on the incident of Titanic passengers, who may have put off dessert that fateful day. The argument, of course, is that one must indulge and enjoy now, for one does not know what the future will bring. The assumption of such comments is that treats must be in the form of physical treats. Such an assumption totally negates the spiritual domain of humans. It has been said that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, not humans having the occasional spiritual experience. On that note, treats can come in the form of spiritual nourishment as much so as physical food. So, what if the passengers of the Titanic did forego dessert that day! Would it not have been a far greater treat to have experienced the love of God through prayer or song, or through giving kindness and assistance to others when the tragedy struck? This would have been a far greater and long lasting treat than to have eaten black forest cake or to have drunk expensive wine, or any other of the physical things we call treats (incidentally, each of these treats would have hindered one’s chances for survival in such a tragedy!). So, next time I am challenged with the claim “you gotta have some treats in life”, I will boldly and unapologetically answer, “I define treats, not by their ability to give pleasure only in the moment, but by their long lasting benefits—such treats would be spiritual treats that transcend beyond this mortal life”. Kindness, anyone? No calories attached.

reality bites...into tasty food!

2010-04-22T21:41:00.001-07:00

For the past 3 weeks, I have avoided all processed and packaged foods. Not only have I made the environment more beautiful, I have also created greater beauty in myself. My epiphany inspired by this simple act is that the more packaging of food that ends up as waste, the more of that packaged food will also end up on my waist. If it fills the landfill, it will fill my fat cells too. On the contrary, buying food that is not packaged or processed (i.e. real food, like raw fruits and vegetables, whole grains and beans, etc.) does not fill waste sites or my waist site. Its real food for me.

ask and ye shall receive

2010-04-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

The other day as I was walking to my doctor’s appointment, I was laboring over the issue of overeating. My walking chant was “why do I overeat; why do I overeat?” When I got to my doctor’s office, I looked up, only to see on her magazine rack, a cover story entitled “why we overeat”! Epiphany strikes again! I was reminded of a number of sayings from Christian and other thoughts ask and ye shall receive and when the student is ready, the teacher appears. The magazine article led me to a book at the local library and more wisdom to win the war on junk food. The wisdom, of course, was what I have always known, but needed some reinforcement again. For me, the principle message was, when I eat food the way God created it, my body will look the way He created it.

do, by doing...

2010-04-10T10:18:00.001-07:00

As a teenager in 4-H clubs, I learned the motto learn to do by doing. I could alter this motto to say learn to think by doing. Much has been said about the power of thought to effect action; however, the flip side of this equation is that action also influences thought. Take the action of eating salt, fat, and sugar, which stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain, starting a chain reaction of thinking that influences the brain to think of salt, fat, and sugar. The more you eat, the more your brain thinks about eating and tells you to go for these substances. Conversely, eating nutritious food influences the brain to stimulate thoughts of eating nutritious food. The more you eat nutritious food, the more you want nutritious food, and thoughts of junk food gradually fade away. Not only are you what you eat, but what you eat creates what you think, which further influences what you eat.

deadly delights

2010-04-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

My neighbor’s teenage daughter facilitated a profound epiphany for me the other day. News was out in the neighborhood that I had encountered a cougar while walking alone on the mountain. The day after this event Emily (my teenage neighbor), when asking me about the cougar experience, punctuated her remarks with “You have run into a lot of animals when walking alone up there and yet you still go up there.” The epiphany didn’t hit until a few hours later when I was ruminating on her comment. Why do I continue to go where I know there is danger when I have a choice not to go there? I could substitute cougar for any number of other objects that pose a threat to my peace and security. Case in point—sugar. Why would I continue to return again and again to a substance that has the potential to damage my health in so many domains? Just a thought for the day, thanks to the cougar and my teenage neighbor.

all thing in moderation...

2010-03-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

Democritus said ‘throw moderation to the winds and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains.’ Can anyone who’s ever overindulged not attest to this simple assertion? Think how good that first cinnamon bun tasted compared to the second or third until, ugh, the stomach is extended, not only far beyond the realm of pleasure, but seriously into the realm of exquisite pain! If one is good, two is not better, and three is downright misery! The winds are chanting: keep me moderate; keep me moderate; keep me moderate.

The "James Factor"

2010-03-25T17:45:00.001-07:00

The other day I had an epiphany while cuddling my restless little grandson. He had recently breast fed, but like most newborns, was continuing to frantically search for something to put in his mouth. As I attempted to sooth his panic at not having anything in his mouth, I said, “Ok little James, you don’t need to have something in your mouth constantly to be happy”. Then came the epiphany—with his little eyes focusing on my face I felt like he was responding “and neither do you Gramma!” (Of course, I , at the time, was stuffing MY face!" Was the universe sending me a message or what! Out of the mouths of babes comes indescribable wisdom. That epiphany continues to fill my soul as I continue my journey to wholeness. Days after sharing this experience with a walking buddy, she too said that it continued to be in her thoughts whenever she reached for something to put into her mouth. She calls it the “James Factor”. Go James!

the tale of a dieter

2010-03-19T16:47:00.000-07:00

It is said that one of Michelangelo’s favourite sayings was “I am still learning”. This saying aptly fits my life as a dieter.

I’m not sure if I’m addicted to diets or to food or both and wonder which one is the stronger addiction. The first time I remember going on a ‘diet’ I was 15 years old and weighed 135 lbs. which was not overweight for my 5’4” frame; however my older sisters weighed less than I and I was sure I had to fit their 115 lb frames. That was in the 70’s and I never did get down to 115 lbs not then or since then. I thought that was the start of a food obsession but after some thought and learning about the 12 steps and addiction and such I realize that my problems were evident before that first diet.

Thankfully for me, I grew up on a farm and in an isolated community—the food we ate was largely whole grain (ground our own flour, made bread, grew a garden, etc.) There were almost no processed foods, rarely sugar, and rarely refined carbohydrates. At Christmas we had candy and baked goods and I do remember always being sick at Christmas from the treats. Thankfully they were rarely available for the rest of the year.

When I was 10 years old I spent a week visiting a cousin in the city; a very different lifestyle than I was used to—they had white bread and it was sliced!—something I had rarely ever seen. I remember craving that white bread and being hungry the whole week even though they fed me regularly (its not like they had no food in the house—it was just very different food—hotdogs, bacon, white bread, dry cereals—I had never seen processed dry cereal and thought it was great!) The more I ate, the hungrier I felt and I wanted to eat all the time. I was even secretly taking white bread slices out of the cupboard and eating when they weren’t watching. I’m sure I consumed loaves of the white stuff every day and my aunt must have wondered where all the bread went. In truth she probably knew and felt sorry for this poor deprived niece of hers who didn’t get any ‘good’ food at home. I also remember being extremely homesick there and wanting to be home so I’m sure the excess food was also filling my need for security. Curiously though, my cousin was fat and I wasn’t—though I was not skinny.

The craving for excess refined carbohydrates seemed to disappear when I was back in my healthier whole food lifestyle at home. The refined carbohydrates were few and far between so the opportunity to binge was not available.

Enter the middle teen years. After the above mentioned first formal diet I became very aware of my body and my desire to eat more than did my sisters (who never seemed to eat to excess like I did—but I’M not bitter!).

When I was near 16 my familial security ended abruptly. I left the ideology of my childhood and started public school for the first time in my life. This exposed me to many new and stressful experiences including food and chronic dieting and the realization that I was poor and my home circumstances were rather austere compared to others I saw. Until this time I didn’t realize I was poor. Poverty kept me from overeating though whenever I was around ‘junk’ food I ate to excess and wondered why my friends stopped when they were ‘full’. They would ask me why I kept eating after I was full. I remember saying ‘so, it still tastes good'. I never gave it much thought but I obviously had a problem and my weight started to show it!

After college I continued the cycle of dieting, binging, etc. always on the alert for the ultimate diet to end all diets! They all worked for awhile of course but I got used to being numerous sizes and using the ‘diet’ to get into a certain size for a certain occasion—the typical scenario. I ate my way through college—mostly refined carbohydrates, weighing 160lb for graduation and feeling ugly (all my roommates were ultra thin—why I would ask do they not eat like I do?).

After college and getting a job I had money for the first time in my life. I thought I had died and gone to heaven—so I decided to diet! It was a heady experience to actually get down below 130lbs but that didn’t last as I quickly ate everything in my path and ended up fatter than before. After a couple years of this I went on a mission to Hong Kong and my number one goal was to return (not necessarily with honour—though that too—but THIN!) I did return thin but had to plan the thinning to occur in the last few months so I didn’t gain again before my release date (is this pathetic or what!). Everyone at home was impressed (okay some shocked and envious) that I was so thin—though I was still in the 130’s somewhere.

After the initial thrill of post mission life I got back into shift work, a boyfriend, and fat! Here came the fat again—I was either gaining or losing but never balanced and stable. I married and managed to be thin for the wedding—after which I was on the gain once more. For the next 20 years I continued a pattern of dieting and binging having four children (using each pregnancy as an excuse to eat!) then dieting it off afterwards.

During the pregnant and parenting years I started regular walking which I have continued to this day and it has probably benefited me greatly though I have walked through many weight gains over the years. After 20 years of marriage, parenting, dieting, binging, etc. my marriage unravelled (though things were not exactly ravelled well before then—but food was always there to ‘keep me going’). By this time I was near 200 lbs and at an emotional and spiritual low in my life. Thankfully the adversity actually took my appetite away (this was an extremely rare phenomenon for me—I was finally at a level of stress or grief that my appetite left me!) After the divorce ended I realized I was thin! or at least thinner than I had been for awhile (145 lbs). During this time I also completed a MSc with a focus on health promotion so my health consciousness was increasing. I also decided to develop a closer relationship with God and put my trust in Him rather than man (since trust in man hadn’t worked too well!).

As post divorce life settled somewhat my appetite returned (DAMN!) & I started to gain once again—my solution this time was to exercise and that I did—walking & cycling obsessively during the summer but when Canadian winters settle in that’s not so easy and up goes the weight again. About this time, 4 years ago, I heard that a few ladies in my church community were starting a 12 step program for food addicts and I got in on it. I have continued to attend these meetings and to focus on progress rather than perfection.

And that’s my story today—I am still learning.

God's pharmacy

2010-02-03T20:19:00.000-08:00

This week I watched a documentary on the lasted research in Alzheimer’s disease. The findings on the effects of diet and exercise were to say the least staggering. Even with all I have studied and experienced on nutrition and exercise I was still shocked to hear a researcher describe his studies and what had been learned. His studies focused on the role of antioxidants and exercise in promoting brain health. In a nut shell this was his advice for keeping the brain healthy and well functioning. First eat an abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables every day—he singled out broccoli and spinach as particularly high in antioxidants. Eating fruits and vegetables are more effective as antioxidants than is taking supplements claiming to be high in antioxidants. The reason for this is that its not just antioxidants that are needed but antioxidants in the right balance and combination. This can only be found in actual food fresh as it comes from the earth. Interesting! Is God smart or what. His (the researcher not God, although God probably inspired him) studies on exercise focused on its effect on intelligence, finding that intelligence and decision making skills are improved with exercise. He punctuated his comments with ‘what drug could you take that would do all this for you!’ I headed straight to the grocery store bypassing the supplement section for spinach and fruit!

today and today and today...

2010-01-18T21:35:00.000-08:00

It seems that most of my life I have been an all or nothing kind of person. When the perfectionist realities of doing it all became impossible as they inevitably do then the nothing mode set in. The all mode includes living a multitude of past and future days all at once expecting to cope with this impossible pile up of days. The nothing mode was just that—do nothing because nothing works. Today I resolve to be a something person instead. I might not achieve perfection but I can celebrate simple progress however small it may be. I may not be able to do it all but I CAN do something. I can do something positive for myself today and make it just for today. My something for today is to live today and not yesterday or tomorrow. I can quite capably live what’s in front of me right now accepting that that is enough.

moderation mantra

2010-01-06T18:56:00.001-08:00

The Greek philosopher Democritus is credited with having said “throw moderation to the winds and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains.” My own personal experience supports this claim. Having just come through that most excessive of all excesses of holidays Christmas, the presence of the pain of excess is almost as abundant as the snow that has been falling all day. From shortbread to monster cookies to turkey and stuffing there has been no food moderation in my house for a number of weeks. The pleasure of excess has now turned into the pain of consequences—a few more rolls and cellulite that are now the focus of once again working out one day at a time. It’s January once again and moderation is the word of the month.

seed of the season

2010-01-02T09:54:00.001-08:00

It has been said that the best and most efficient pharmacy is within your own system. If that is the case then what we fuel our systems with has the power to heal or kill that system. This goes back to the old adage that you are what you eat. Food that is alive with essential nutrients as close to its natural form as possible is much more life giving and life promoting than food that has been processed, pummeled, putrefied, pretended or otherwise destroyed by the processes humans claim to improve upon what God initially created. This season of the year seems to be particularly fraught with the interference of man on what God has created as ‘food’ takes on a boxed and battered appearance in the name of convenience and comfort. So for this Christmas season one goal I have is to eat only healing foods that invigorate and stimulate my body’s built in pharmacy. Bring on the fresh fruit, nuts, and seeds of the season.

and so on...

2009-12-09T20:37:00.000-08:00

Hippocrates the father of medicine and one of my favorite experts to quote stated that walking is the best medicine. I believe him wholeheartedly. When I am sad I walk and the sadness lifts. When I am anxious I walk and my spirit is calmed. When I am angry I walk and the anger dissipates. When I am perplexed about problems I walk and the solutions come. When I am pessimistic I walk until optimism and hope return. When I am feeling depressed I walk it off until it lifts and the clouds of doubt and fear disappear. And when I’m happy, walking elevates the happiness to sheer joy! No other single activity does so much for my heart, mind, body, and soul as a good walk in the woods rain, sleet, snow, shine, hail, wind, frost, heat, and everything in between. Not even minus 10 temperatures could keep me from my walks this week!

night's plight

2009-12-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

Something about night shift that flips the whole system on its head and with it any sense of orderliness with eating and exercise. Having come off a 12 hour night shift this morning I am feeling the effects of night shift hangover complete with a confused body and mind. I’m not sure exactly what it is about sugar and salty snacks that seem to pass the perils of night shift. I suppose there’s a false sense that they are giving comfort to replace the comfort of sleep. Or perhaps they give the sense that I am avoiding the pain of nightshift by filling it with the perceived pleasure of food or perhaps my concern for health is shot all to hell by the effects of sleep deprivation. Whatever it is I am grateful that my body is hurting – a painful reminder of why I don’t want refined carbs in my body. I wonder how many times this can happen before I actually commit to abstinence from sugar. AA says that when the pain of the habit is greater than the pain of change then change occurs. Tonight the pain of the habit is forefront (literally) in my mind as I suffer one of those frontal, distal, and global headaches that only sugar can elicit. How can the pleasure of something so sweet give birth to the experience of so much suffering? I guess I will add this to my list of questions for God. ‘Til then, I remain a mortal suffering from the effects of the fridge.

Time...flies!

2009-11-18T22:11:00.000-08:00

November 18, 2009

This past week I’ve been pouring over my old journals—a veritable stroll down memory lane. What shocks me most about these journals is the continual theme of having difficulty with controlling sugar intake. One journal when I was in my early 20’s talks about me reading a book on the health hazards of sugar and how I vowed to cut it out of my life for good. Other journal entries throughout the years have the same theme—mostly bemoaning my overindulgence in sugar laden foods and the day after with its unpleasant hangover symptoms—headache, lethargy, depression and so forth. I note that there are no entries discussing any problem with controlling broccoli or onion intake. I even have one entry that vows to conquer the problem so I won’t have to deal with it in my 40’s (Of course back then I didn’t think I would ever be 40!). So here I am 30 years later bemoaning a problem that I clearly identified in writing while still in my youth. It appears then that knowledge is not particularly power and that the more things change the more they stay the same. When I write my autobiography it will certainly have to be titled ‘Time Flies When You’re Eating Sugar” or how about ‘Time Flies When You’re Gaining Weight’ or maybe just ‘Time Flies’.

divine AA

2009-11-13T10:18:00.000-08:00

AA says that service is a way of getting out of our addictions and into recovery. I think God sort of said this first. Who’d have thought He knew! It seems that when I do things for others I feel better about myself and less likely to indulge in self-pity which inevitably leads to other indulgences and then I find myself plunging head first into a bag or box or bowl of something not nutritious. So today when a colleague called and asked me to proof read an essay for her I took it as an opportunity to share my talent with someone else and improve my chances for keeping my appetite within the bounds the Lord has set. Service has a magical way of bringing a smile to the day—not so much service with a smile but service brings the smile. The happy moods associated with helping others are akin to the endorphins of exercise. Thankfully I was able to experience both highs today and I’d rather be high in mood than weight any day! Service anyone?

pig out vaccine

2009-11-09T21:19:00.001-08:00

This week I finally gave into the vaccine hounds and got flu vaccines—two; one for the regular flu and one for the H1N1, commonly known on the streets as swine flu, aka pig flu.. To tell you the truth I would rather have been vaccinated against pig out flu! H1N1 could stand for heavy one/no one. To a food junkie and one who suffers from pigging out, the swine flu could mean binging sickness. My mind got racing and fantasizing about a vaccine against pigging out and becoming fat. Now THERE’S a vaccine I would like to be known for. Can you imagine what it would be like if there was a simple shot you could take that would prevent you from eating too much!? I would be laughing all the way to the scale. Of course there would be some industries that would fight its release and availability to the masses (no pun intended)—like for instance the food industry. Wouldn’t that cut into their profits if people were getting a shot to stop them from overeating. And what about the weight loss industry. Wouldn’t they be ticked if everyone finally solved their weight problems? Whatever would Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, weight watchers and more do! And what about the plus size fashions and all those styles and clothes designed to make us look thinner? There they go right out the syringe with the pig out flu!

happy holidays...

2009-11-04T18:08:00.000-08:00

What is it with us and our pig out holidays? Having just come through Halloween I wonder what the heck anything has to do with chocolate and yet every holiday that comes along seems to require chocolate or it hasn’t been properly observed and celebrated. After taking my lovely daughter and her charming husband to the Spokane airport I did some respectable grocery shopping at Costco – no junk food or anything chocolate related (OK so I ate the free Costco samples and some of them were less than virtuous!). I abstained from purchasing junk food until I was almost home then the panic hit – what if my friend brings her five children trick or treating to my house tonight and I don’t have anything to give them except a carrot—not that there’s anything wrong with a carrot! So I pulled over to the gas station and convenience store to buy junk food to hand out. Of course no one came trick or treating and guess who ate the treats. I’m not even going to go there! And all because of some pagan ridiculous holiday that never had anything to do with food until the capitalistic pigs decided there was money to be made! And I along with millions of others chose to buy (no pun intended) into it. I wonder if I could swing the trends and start cabbage soup for all holidays. Doesn’t that sound like something worth celebrating!

transitional living

2009-11-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

Times of transition seem to take their toll on maintaining healthy routines. This past week I have transitioned from being a mother to being a mother in law. The week leading up to this wonderful event saw me cabbage soup dieting in anticipation of fitting into my suit. The week following this blessed event has seen me bread and cheese dieting to assuage the anxieties and uncertainties that often accompany threats to familiarity. If my lovely daughter’s wedding was the only change blessing my life at present I may not be feeling such anxiety; however, I returned home to see my dear neighbor and walking buddy packing up to move to a distant city (her house is for sure sold); and the weather definitely transitioned from Indian summer to outright prairie like winter—brrrrr; and to top it off I turned 54! How the hell did that happen—I could have sworn I was just 18 yesterday!

For some unknown reason and I’m sure someday I will have a psychobiological explanation for it, food seems to provide the illusion of security and comfort when the world around me is seemingly spinning out of control. Hence, the bread and cheese! Lots of it—and with it, the illusion of home and family; love and comfort; security and peace. Life may be changing and the years flying by, but bread and cheese is still bread and cheese.

the leap...

2009-10-01T18:14:00.001-07:00

When all else fails, jump into the cabbage soup diet. Lucky for me, a gardening friend dumped some fresh cabbage on me just this week It was a sign; absolutely providential. I am meant to be on the cabbage soup diet for the week leading up to my daughter’s wedding! How can a chronic dieter resist the temptation! And just in time to squeeze (make that ease) myself respectably into my mother of the bride outfit. cabbage soup and spanx otta do the trick.

Sounds like "hope"...

2009-08-21T19:22:00.001-07:00

The ancient Romans had a saying—“mens sana in corpore sano” which is Latin for “in a sound body rests a sound mind”. My past and present personal experience supports this ancient assertion. During periods when I am giving my body the nutrients it needs—free of man made synthetics masquerading as food—(processed substances laced with sugar, fat, salt, and other unidentifiable multi-syllable additives) my mind and spirit focus on positive outcomes filled with self confidence and hope. Conversely when I starve my body of nutrients while filling it with chemicals, anxiety, pessimism, cynicism, and despair seem to haunt my waking hours. Am I really what I eat? It certainly appears to be so. Could the ancient Romans have been right? Sound body; sound mind. And I might add; sound spirit too.

...the way a toy feels when it's battery runs dry...

2009-08-13T11:08:00.000-07:00

One cannot underestimate the power of sound sleep in promoting sound mind and body. After a long red eye flight from Mumbai to London I am feeling the symptoms of a cold coming on—stuffed head, runny nose, watery eyes and general malaise. As I sit in the London Heathrow airport sneezing I am aware of the suspicious looks from fellow travelers who after a number of my sneezes have got up and moved on to another sitting locale. Can’t say as I blame them particularly with the global hysteria over swine flu and all. What does confuse me though is the paranoid travelers wearing masks into the smoking lounge to get their nicotine fix. Funny how we humans tend to – what is that saying—strain at gnats while swallowing camels! I can quite accurately predict that smoking will kill more people in a year than swine flu ever will and yet typical human nature isn’t it—to panic over things we have little control over and yet continue bad habits that we do have control over. This does not bode well for our health mental or physical. Taking responsibility then taking action to minimize harm to our bodies will add not only years to one’s life but also life to one’s years. From London Heathrow and punctuated with a sneeze I sign off as my laptop battery wears down before my mind does.

Gratitude attitude

2009-08-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

Being in India has reminded me of the virtue of gratitude. And a quote my mother used to say when I whined too much as a child: ‘I complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.’ This seems rather fitting for India after a day of navigating through the street markets, dodging filth, grime, thieves, and beggars. Gratitude is a powerful source for happiness and success. Just for today I am grateful to be Canadian—to have a clean, quiet, home to return to when this journey has ended. Simple things like water to drink clean air to breathe, and toilet paper cannot be overrated in their contribution to a happy life. Add to that a strong and large volume bladder which allows me to go the day out in India without needing to go to any of the nauseatingly filthy public washrooms. Life is good in North America and there seems to be no reason for anyone who lives there to be anything but ecstatically grateful and happy just to live where they live. Gratitude seems to be an essential component of those who are mentally healthy. For those who are miserable and ungrateful in North America—they need to live in India for awhile!
-R

universal truths

2009-08-02T11:24:00.000-07:00

From Pune India, I am pondering how grateful I am that I did not pack a pile of unnecessary baggage around the world. Of course what is necessary to me may look like unnecessary baggage to others. Viva la difference. I packed my tiny lap top and it fit well into my front pack. Its essential status is right up there with my passport, scriptures, workout wear, and dental floss. Beyond gratitude for light baggage I also pondered how little I know about India. Mother Teresa and Gandhi come to mind. So sitting in my hotel room waiting for the free breakfast to start I have searched for some fitting Gandhi and mother Teresa quotes.

From Gandhi: “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”. No matter where I go and no matter who I am with I keep in mind that happiness comes from living well—from living consistent with my values and beliefs. My locale may change; my food choices may minimize; my weight may fluctuate, but my commitment to wellness and decency does not.

And from mother Teresa these words seem to suit a situation where language barriers are particularly succinct: “every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing”. I am smiling a whole lot!

bodies and temples...

2009-07-27T19:45:00.001-07:00

I heard it said that if our bodies are temples, some of us look like the maintenance crew retired years ago. Like everything else in life, our bodies too need to be maintained. I can’t expect to brush my teeth once and never have to again nor can I shower once and say well that’s that for life! Equally ridiculous would be to assume that one meal can suffice for life. Why is it then that many of us balk at the thought of muscle and fitness maintenance? Walking daily is as much a part of my routine as flossing my teeth, showering, and drinking water when I’m thirsty. It is not an irritant or an option—its what I do; its who I am. I walk. I walk through, rain, snow, sleet, sun, hail, wind, sadness, and joy, stress and calm. And according to Hippocrates the father of medicine, walking is the best medicine. I believe that—and if walking is the best medicine, being a couch potato is one of the worst diseases. I prefer health to disease and I make that choice every day when I go out for a walk. I walk; therefore, I am. And I keep my maintenance crew walking too.

scale tales...

2009-07-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

Isn’t it amazing what a number on the scale can do to the start of the day? For over a year I refused to stand on the scale, but I started this addictive ritual once again this past month. Now I ask- wasn’t it enough to have clothes fitting that used to not fit; to have them loose and comfortable where once they were binding like debt! To have people stop me at the grocery store and tell me I look like a rail (yes, I kid you not, she said a rail!). NO, that just wasn’t enough—the lure of those magic numbers on the scale seemed to beckon with greater force than chocolate during a PMS storm! And like many a PMS storm I succumbed to the lure of the scale—only to be thrown into a fit of misery because the numbers, those magic numbers weren’t as low as I had anticipated. All of a sudden the pleasure of feeling lean and fit was sacrificed to the scale gods and their numbers! What is SO important about quantifying everything? Wasn’t it Einstein that said ‘not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be counted counts?’ If he DIDN”T say it he should have!

Anyways, back to my scale woes. One year I taped ‘130’ over the digital weight display. I had read somewhere that if I saw that number every morning when I weighed then my mind would turn my body into that weight. I think it was working until my 6’4’ hulk of a fireman son was visiting and removed it—seems he didn’t want to weigh 130 pounds. Go figure! That was two years ago Christmas and I have no idea why I never replaced the magic number back on my scale. Maybe that’s why it didn’t work! After all these decades of cyclic and frenzied dieting and having my moods conversely dictated by the scale—if the numbers are up, my mood is down; if the numbers are down my mood is up!—you’d think that I could get over it! But NO! Here I am in my 50’s still being ruled by the numbers on a scale. Not only am I a dress size, I seem to be a number on the scale too!

-R

fish out positive things!

2009-07-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

I just got in from a refreshing swim in the neighbor’s fish pond. As the fish swam around me threatening to nibble at my toes, I secretly fantasized about them performing liposuction on my butt and thighs. If I could just stay in the pond long enough I might emerge actually fitting into the size 6 bathing suit I insisted on stuffing myself into! Hey, I can have my dreams right? Don’t the gurus (whoever the gurus are!) say if you can see it you can be it! Well if they didn’t say it, I am! I’m not sure that this includes seeing fish suck the cellulite off my thighs or not, but it’s my fantasy and I’m sticking to it! If you’re going to fantasize it might as well be good! I never could understand people daydreaming about all the bad things that could happen (although I must confess at times allowing this destructive habit to destroy my peace). It just seems that if you’re going to think and imagine why not think and imagine positive, happy, hopeful images. I read somewhere that if we knew how powerful our thoughts are, we would never again think another negative thought. Even the bible says ‘as a man thinketh in his heart so is he’ and I’m sure that goes for women too. I don’t know about you but I’m not about to denounce the bible. After all, it is the bible! And who’d have thought that the SECRET wasn’t a secret after all—it was in the bible all these millennia – who’d have thought!

So in all your thinking, think lean; think strong; think size 6 (OK, OK, so I AM a dress size, and a bathing suit size, and a pant size! etc etc etc); think kohlrabi tastes like chocolate (ok so that’s a stretch of the imagination but you get my drift right!). And I got all this from swimming with the fish in my neighbor’s pond! I gotta get up there more often!

-R

old news...

2009-07-22T13:43:00.001-07:00

Over 2000 years ago, Hippocrates, the very father of medicine recommended diet and exercise rather than drugs. Somewhere in the last two millennia, his sage wisdom has been supplanted with the money motivated pharmaceutical and fast food companies. We need a return to the wisdom of the ages—a return to whole food and exercise to heal the ills that plaque prosperous nations. It has been said that the number one health problem outside North America is starvation; the number one health problem inside North America is obesity. It is no wonder then that it is man made diseases, not mysterious super-bugs that are killing Americans. These man made diseases include heart disease, strokes, type 2 diabetes and numerous cancers. Its no surprise to me then that one day while in the ER a doctor looked out at the overflowing waiting room and said—‘I can tell you what’s wrong with everyone out there without even seeing them—they eat too much!’ And he was right! So many ills, aches, pains, stressed joints, failing hearts, etc. are directly linked to or exacerbated by obesity. You don’t need a pill; you need a push off the couch! Is it time to go back to the sage wisdom of Hippocrates and admit, that more than two millennia later, he was in fact right! It’s not the flu, that’s killing us—its our food.

the exercise elixir--

2009-07-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

It has been said that if the effects of exercise could be bottled people would be flocking to their doctors in mass numbers lining up to get the prescription—willing to pay any price for its magic. Sadly, relatively few will exercise regularly and are denying themselves the benefits of this miracle drug—exercise. It doesn’t have to cost anything. It requires no legal prescription. It has no bad side effects, and it can be done most anywhere. It is non-discriminating. Old and young, fat and thin, male and female, rich and poor, educated and illiterate can access and benefit from it. All domains of health are impacted positively by exercise. Need I say more! Every body system functions more smoothly with regular exercise. Think better digestion, improved circulation, stronger bones and muscles, stronger heart, efficient elimination, stronger immune system (aka greater ability to prevent and fight illness), improved brain function, healthier skin with glowing complexion, more stabilized blood sugars, improved mood, addiction recovery. and even a better sex life to mention just a few! Can anyone out there find a pill that boasts such tremendous benefits! And with no bad side effects!

Not only is exercising the best anti-depressant it’s also the best anti-disease insurance for the money (none). We don’t need better health insurance; we need more people exercising. Be a part of the solution—get up and move.

too good to be true?...usually

2009-07-20T13:58:00.000-07:00

Last night I attended a benefit dinner and silent auction. As I perused the silent auction items my attention fell on a basket of dark chocolate promising stress free and effortless weight loss. My heart started pounding erratically and visions of being size 6 by Monday danced through my head. For one fleeting moment of euphoria I was sucked in and stopped to read the fine print. Somewhere between ‘all natural’ and ‘energy’, my left brain rationality kicked in and reminded me of my previous experience with the magic weight loss chocolate. Back in the winter of 2009 (OK, OK, it was freezing cold and who wouldn’t be sucked into dark chocolate magic when it’s minus 20 and the nights are long and the only thing that’s fitting about then are sweats and pajamas!) one of my students supplied me with some dark chocolate claiming magical weight loss powers. The package was dropped off in broad daylight in a public place so I naturally thought it was above board and, I didn’t promise her better grades because of it so I felt pure about the whole thing!

OK, now before you pass judgment on me, think, who wouldn’t want to eat chocolate that boasted of magical transformative powers? Just the promise of boosting metabolic rate and suppressing appetite while eating dark chocolate wafers turned my head and innervated my speech muscles to say ‘I’m in!’ --sure beats the hell out of okra and kale (aka grass and slime). I had visions of not only being size 6 in time for Valentines Day (like what for, it’s not like I had a hot date or anything!) but also of being taller, prettier, younger, friendlier, and smarter—not to mention that my teeth would be whiter and George Clooney would return my call—all this from eating that magic dark chocolate.!

Well it didn’t take long to have my fantastical visions shattered! I was on a ‘trip’ of sorts, the likes of which I had never experienced. I was jumpy, moody, paranoid, and grouchy, besides feeling like a hill of polygamous Formica ants had taken up residence in my liver (and yes I DO know that Formica ants live polygamy—I learned that in my dissertation literature search!). Suddenly the ‘too good to be true’ magic chocolate had fallen from grace and I was back to reality a wiser yet no thinner woman.

I bypassed the silent auction chocolate and settled on a bowl of grass and slime instead.

Diet your way fat...

2009-07-19T14:26:00.001-07:00

One thing all my diets have taught me is how to gain weight, so if there’s anyone out there wanting to gain weight read on! First, go on a diet! Yes, you heard me correctly—go on a diet. And it matters not which one you choose, just grab one and fly with it. Look at me—I’ve tried them all and do you see me having trouble gaining weight! See what I mean! The diets-- they all work equally well—the Atkins old or new, the grapefruit, the fit for life, the weight watchers, the weigh down, pray down, lay down and cry diet (I made that one up and I’ve used it many times—it’s very effective). Don’t forget to try the south beach, north beach, the no beach and zone and clone diets. When you’re done with those go on to the drastic measures of fasting and starving and concentration camp style eating (these are also great for the budget). The key for this first step in weight gain is to choose the diet.

Step two is to announce to everyone you know that you are going on a diet! Tell your family, your friends, your colleagues, pets, plants, and pastor (minister, rabbi, bishop, guru, reverend etc.). It may also be advisable to put an announcement in the local paper – something to let the community at large know of your intent. This is most effectively done around the beginning of the year. Step two ensures that everyone you know will be on the lookout for your dietary habits as well as watching how your clothes fit or do not fit!

The next step occurs as soon as you lose enough pounds to go down a size in clothes. It involves throwing out all your large clothes—dispose of them somehow. This is to show your commitment that you are no longer going to be the current size and will look forward to the shopping spree for your new sized body. The method of disposing of the clothes is irrelevant to your overall success—the key here is to just get them out of the house and your life. Some suggestions may be to give the clothes to the local clothing bank—to your church, or sell them at a garage—or burn them on main street with your bra or feed them to your mother’s goats. Just remove them from your plane of vision and from your psyche—for you are now going to be a new smaller size forever!

After you have accomplished the above steps sit back, relax, and watch the weight pile on! I can’t tell you how this phenomenon happens—it just happens and it may happen within just weeks of starting the diet. The rationale for such success is found in both the physiological and psychological realms of mumbo jumbo aka behavioral theories. Theory one asserts that after about three weeks (for some it’s just 3 days!) of rigidly following a diet plan, the dieter will be open to eating anything that can’t run and hide (actually I have been known to eat some run and hide food items too)!

Theory number two—refer back to theory number one—where’s Freud when you need him?

Personal experience has taught me that this theory is most certainly evidence based. After a few weeks of expert discipline and control while following a regimented plan—I can eat undeterred and indiscriminately for days, weeks, and sometimes years at a stretch. This, my dear thin friend is where your weight gain will start. Trust me—after your dieting weeks, nothing will keep you from food—my experience has been that during these moments of heightened food awareness following dieting, not even Daniel Day Lewis (loin cloth and all running through the woods as the last Mohican) could distract me from food (although I would invite him to eat with me!).

Inches

2009-07-18T13:03:00.001-07:00

I read a wonderful quote by football coach Vince Lombardi—“Inches make champions”. This is not only true for football champions but fitness champions as well. Its not white knuckled perfection or ascetic nutrition programs or death defying workouts that make for champions of health and fitness; but rather the day to day inches of moderate eating, moderate exercise, and moderate thinking. Consistency with an inch of daily exercise contributes far more to being champions at fitness than does sporadic mile long sprinting that few can maintain.

For years I have bought into the destructive diet mentality of all or nothing. Years of New Years days were spent in senseless starving while writing our food plans and contracts that not even Gandhi could adhere to—only to fail miserably around week 2 and fall back into the despair of failure and total binging. Now I know that had I simply taken it one inch at a time; one healthy breakfast a day or one less hour of eating in the evening, or maybe just one more glass of water instead of a cookie I could have succeeded not only with healthy weight maintenance but healthy heart and soul maintenance too. It’s not rocket science but it IS rock solid science. My inch for today?—a handful of fresh spinach from my garden.

-R

emotion sickness

2009-07-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember I have had an unhealthy relationship with food. When I was about 10 I spent a week of summer vacation with my cousin in a neighboring town. This was my first experience being away from the seclusion and security of home and I felt the homesickness very acutely and painfully. The memory that is sharpest from that week away is not swimming in the city pool; and not playing with my cousin who had many more toys than I ever imagined possible (this coming from a girl who had one doll and that was a rummage sale find!); and not threatening to beat up a boy who called my cousin ‘fatty’. No, the memory that is most succinct in my psyche is the memory of having store bought white bread for the first time in my life—and craving that white bread, and stealing more slices when my aunt wasn’t looking. It was clearly an addiction at first taste and I kept creeping into the kitchen and stealing slices and wolfing them down. I can still feel the shame and guilt as well as the intense craving and compulsion to eat that white bread—no butter or jam or peanut butter on it—just bread slice after pasty white slice. And never feeling satisfied or full.

Now looking back I know why I was never satisfied. I was trying to fill an emotional need with a physical substance and that cannot be done. I was trying to assuage my homesickness, loneliness, and anxiety with bread. This has been a long time pattern in my life. Whenever I feel loneliness or anxiety, or shame, I reflexively turn to food. Thankfully I am learning to recognize this and distract myself—dealing with the unpleasant emotions in a more healthful and effective manner. Exercise is now my cure- all for every psychosocial ill as well as most physiological ones too. There are very few ills (psychological and physiological) that exercise won’t heal. I have often thought that an appropriate line for psychologists to use on their clients is ‘take a walk and call me in the morning!’. So on than note, I am off to take a walk!

-R

Fit and fit...

2009-07-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after work I popped into a local dress shop to look for India appropriate clothing (ie. loose and cool) for my upcoming sojourn to the world championships—volleyball. Upon entering the store the first thing that caught my eye of course was the mumu style big dresses that have no form. As I fondly fingered the first formless dress my daughter’s voice came to me saying ‘Mom, if it looks fat on the rack its going to look fat on you! You’re not big so quit buying big formless clothes’. I listened to her direction and went deeper into the dress shop finding the perfect dress—smocked fitted bodice and long flowing skirt. It was a match made in heaven. I knew I had to have it even before looking at the price tag. It was off the rack and into my arms and off to the checkout confidently knowing that this was a compliment to my appearance rather than a detriment. I was reminded however of how hard those old habits are to change—big baggy clothes seem to have been my comfort and norm for many years. And exactly why that is I don’t know. Perhaps a deep seated belief that I needed to be hidden—that I couldn’t really be who I am. A huge part of being healthy in mind, body, and spirit is allowing me to be who I am as well as allowing others to see who I am and to know me. What a powerful lesson to learn simply from buying a dress! The symbols and messages of who I am are found in every particle of my life. I need only open my eyes and mind to see and know the teacher when it/he/she appears. Here’s to the teachers that are around us every day and everywhere.

-R

Toned zone mama speaks!!

2009-07-14T22:35:00.000-07:00

Someone once said that our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies. I would like to add that our bodies speak volumes about our attitudes toward ourselves and toward life in general. I have observed several body biographies in my workplace this week. There are bodies that say ‘I hate myself’ – these ‘bodies’ use their weight to intimidate and control others. They are not satisfied within themselves and clearly demonstrate this in their rudeness to coworkers, family members and strangers alike. Not only are they physically uncomfortable in their own skin but emotionally and socially uncomfortable as well. It’s as if they are attempting to assert power through size rather than through positive esteem of self and others. What they lack in emotional and social size they are attempting to make up in physical size. Sadly no amount of physical size can compensate for a shriveled and starving mind and soul. Concurrently no amount of food can compensate for failure to feed the soul. When we fail to give our bodies adequate care through rest, nutrition, and exercise, we also fail to nurture our minds and spirits. When we abuse our bodies through excess food we abuse our minds and spirits at the same time. No amount of food will compensate for a starved soul just as no amount of affection will compensate for a lack of physical nutrition.

So with each decade of life think about the biography your body is writing. What do you want to have written at 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and beyond. My 70 year old neighbor hikes every day and exudes the strength and vitality of youth. Her body biography clearly states she has cared for and loved herself as well as others. Conversely I have another acquaintance – same age of 70 who is crippled with obesity—hips and knees replaced to deal with the stresses that weight has put on her body. Then there’s another 70 year old I know whose lungs have been destroyed with smoking and the lines and grayness in her skin clearly write the biography of her life. Add to her the 60+ woman in the dementia unit who has destroyed her brain with alcohol. What a sad biography her body has written.

So in your youth think about what your body will say about your life. Will it have the effects of alcohol, smoking, obesity, or drugs carved into its cells or will it be written with the vigor and vitality that only nutrition, exercise, and rest can scribe.

What will your body say about you? What does it say about you now?

-R

Deceptive delights...

2009-07-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

As I drove by the Dairy Queen today a sign caught my eye – tin roof sundae blizzards. My heart started racing and for one fleeting moment I believed that blizzard was just what I wanted and needed on a hot summer day. The loud voice that hates me was trying hard to convince me with such arguments as ‘ Oh come on its summer!’ and ‘You live only once!’ and ‘You’ve got to have some pleasure in life!’ and on and on. Then the little voice that loves me said ‘sugar never was happiness!’ I believed the little voice because it loves me and I know it is true. Sugar is not life nor happiness nor summer. And if I live only once let that life be filled with health and vitality; not self imposed illness and misery.

-R

TonedZone Mama!

2009-07-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how one simple change in behavior can have such a tremendous impact on every aspect of my life. Since adding weighted workouts in January this year to my fitness regime I feel much more confident and powerful—not just physically, but spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and even socially! There seems to be so much wisdom and power built into the cells of the body and exercise seems to unleash that power and wisdom.

As I sweat through my weighted workout this morning I couldn’t help think of the first few days in January when the skies were grey and my holiday binge was weighing heavily (no pun intended) on my butt and thighs – how gloomy I felt and yet I knew that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass. Just simply doing that weighted workout consistently the past 6 months has fueled such a positive and optimistic drive in me-- not to mention chiseling off the holiday binge. And just yesterday my neighbor and walking buddy commented that she sees a big difference in the backs of my arms (Yeah they’ve gone from middle age flab to middle aged fab!) Ok ok she didn’t say that but that’s what my cerebral input filtered and I’m sticking to it!

It must be noted that my daughter was the one who got me started on the workout video that I’ve been doing! Who says our daughters can’t become our teachers and mentors and coaches—ok don’t let this go to your head J I still have many more years of life experience than you do!

-R

Say NO to poison!!!

2009-07-09T21:05:00.001-07:00

"As I see it, every day you do one of two things: build health, or produce disease in yourself."
-Adelle Davis

I think if we all really recognized the poison put into our mouths on a daily basis, WILLINGLY, and DELIGHTFULLY, we might be more inclined to stop and think about what's hurting your body and what's helping it. I can't even keep track of how many people I know that live off of carbonated drinks and packaged faux-food.

To be quite frank, I look at them with a slight shade of pity and judgement. I don't want to do this, I don't want to look at them and think "dumb" but I admit, I do from time to time. I'm definitely NOT perfect when it comes to food, but I DO go out of my way to never spend money on anything toxic to my body.

A great tip to those who are really trying to make a difference in their eating habits--when I do have something ridiculous, I take it in stride, I eat it in a moderate manner and I never forget to flush it out with a big jug of lemon water! Lemon is a friendly fruit that naturally detoxifies. It's a life saver, it'll flush out all that bad that's not welcome in your body. You'll feel a whole lot better, trust me!

-J

July 8, 2009

2009-07-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

Today I read a quote from a long time sober alcoholic--it was something like 'my worst days in recovery were still better then my best days binging'.

As a long time food binger and dieter, I can attest to his setiments, that yes my worst days of abstinence from compulsive overeating are better then my best days of binging (and I HAVE had many). But just for today I feel like the "Toned Zone poster girl" (Ok, Ok, I haven't been a "girl" for ages, so call me the 'Toned Zone middle aged Mother" then, if you must!)

I have had a lovely hike up the mountain, and I've done an hour of full body weights. And now I'm soaking in the tub and feeling my muscles burning calories. No amount of food of any taste, or of any brand has ever felt as good as this!!

-R

"a day in the life"

2009-07-07T23:01:00.000-07:00

As a forward, I'd like to introduce my Mother, who is also a blogger for Toned Zone. Enjoy her wisdom, and her wit! I always do:)
-J

Today was my flush out day after several days of too much sugar and junk-- so I started the day with a 90 minute hike with my neighbor then followed immediately with a full body weighted workout for 60 minutes.

My breakfast was raw berries after which I went to the grocery store to stock up on fresh fruit for my flush out fruit day. After eating a pile of fresh blueberries, strawberries, cantaloupe, mango and banana I set out for an extended bike ride through the country side. This lasted about 3 hours and by the time I pushed my bike the last leg up my very long and tortuous hill to home I was very exhausted -- time for a nap and more fruit. Then this evening I walked another hour to attend my food addict meeting-- no one showed up-- after a few bitter thoughts I hiked back home again and watered my garden.

So I am now feeling flushed out and physically exhausted and ready to go to bed. Fitness feels so much better than fatness. There is no food high comparable to the high of movement. What a great way to celebrate Canada Day.

I guess I should introduce myself. I am a middle aged chronic dieter who has through a 12 step program and exercise managed to find peace with my body most days. Exercise is my therapy, and the ultimate mood elevator. Someday when I have the time I would like to be a compulsive exerciser rather than compulsive eater.

-R

Diet vs. Life

2009-06-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

So many people are obsessed with the idea that it all happens quickly-you’re body’s changes that is, and I don’t blame you! Every magazine I pick up in line at the grocery store has a massive transformation of one star or an other, and you see the before picture, and think well hell! I swear I just saw them and they were like 30 lbs heavier! And now look at how fit and delicious they look. I’m going to do that, I can definitely do that. Why not? And then I prance off, magazine in hand, with a new plan of action ready to put into effect, at this point nothing will shirk me! The problem is, three days later when I’m standing in a comparable line, in a comparable store, I’ll see a very familiar magazine layout of an other woman who did it in even less time, and it’s diet let’s me eat three more gluten-free wasa crackers a day! Hallelujah!! So I make the change. And a week later while in an other line, suspiciously set up like last week’s I’ll see an other magazine...

It goes on and on like this. The body yo-yo’s about, from one extreme to an other. From “no starchy carbohydrates”--which one can handle for about 3 days before biting into a piece of toast and waking up 30 minutes later from a starch coma and finding an empty bread bag lying directly to the left, having nothing but a guilt headache for company. Panic ensues, the decision that the cabbage soup diet might be better instead. You can eat as much soup as you want, and you’ll have no need for portion control, thank you lord! (I’ve thanked the lord for such things before!:) Before you know it, you’ve bought the South Beach Diet book, and you’ve torn through a list of diets, pills, and juices, that are supposed to transform you into the “you” that you’re hoping will look the slimmest in that dress hanging in your closet. The one that you haven’t ever worn outside your bedroom.

You know exactly what I’m talking about, you never find it in you to throw it out, because you’ll wear it at this event, or that wedding, or by your next birthday. There’s always a promise to yourself for the looming date ahead. The point of all of this (and believe me, there is one) is that this is a possibility. The stupid thing is that by the time you’ve stopped to scold yourself for your failure of your ump-teen diets, it’s been 3 months, and you could have been at your goal had you picked a healthy plan and allowed it the time to work for you in a steady progression.

Whether you like it or not, you didn’t gain the weight or extra inches instantly, and you’re not going to lose it instantly either. Every diet does work, every exercise plan and ploy and trick and tip really does work. What you need to ask yourself when you’re making the decision to change your body; to look and feel the way that you were meant to, is: “what can I live with?”

Ultimately that’s the idea. You don’t want to be dieting for the rest of your life. You want to find that happy medium, where you learn and execute healthy living so that it’s what comes natural to you. Your body will thank you, by giving you the slim, healthy, energetic body that you’ve been envisioning inside the dress that’s hiding in your closet. Time to give it a reason to move! Steady progress adds up, make small changes in your life every day and it really will make the biggest difference in your life. Make a decision, choose to follow through with it for yourself and trust it. Trust yourself, no one will know you better.
-J

Know ye not...?

2009-06-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

This morning, at what appeared to be a breakfast buffet at the Travelodge lobby, I found a hub of people that gave me an observation of epic proportion. A trio debating the length of time it takes to create the perfect waffle-it's funny to me that these strangers feel a camaraderie brought on by the anticipation of starch at it's finest. Moving along, there's a elderly couple sitting at a table drinking coffee and staring at me, intently. A middle aged couple eating matching bagels in their matching polo's with their matching scowls, turn to identically make obligated eye contact with me with a set of fake grins.

All I can keep thinking is, they look exactly like the food they're eating. Doughy, color-less, dimpled and soft. What's more, is they apparently seem to know this, whether it's obvious to them yet or not. They're emitting this unpleasant energy brought on by their body knowing what they're refusing to acknowledge. They're not feeling happy, healthy, energetic and whatever else it is they see on me when I walk through the door eating a bright red apple.

Eat the food that you want to resemble, in whatever the way. Whole, real, colorful and organic. We aren't processed people. Not naturally anyways, I suppose the more fake food we eat, the more our bodies find nothing they acknowledge as fuel, thus nowhere to place it, except to store it as that flabby fat we ALL hate so much.

So then, I bring up the question of why do we do what we do, when we know what we know? Are we simply glutton's for punishment? Or are we hoping to get past on a hope that we're the one exception to the rule. What we eat ultimately makes us who we are. It effects our moods, which effects our lives, which makes us who we are. Not to mention what we look like. Yeeesh. We only get one chance with our body, let's do something admiral with it!! Keep it as long as possible. It's your life after all.

"Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are." 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

It's very possible, that the destruction is left up to us, as well as our salvation with our body. What you eat will inevitably better your life, or slowly destroy you. Whether you're religious or not, food is indiscriminate. So next time you walk into your local breakfast buffet, take a minute to pause and look at the untouched basket of fruit beside the remains of what used to be a pile of pastries. Make your choice...life, or death. Have a good one!:)

-J

Salutations snack...

2009-06-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

...I literally thought this just now, while reaching for my caffeine free diet Pepsi. I have a preference for solid foods as a snack--such as chocolate, I enjoy chocolate. Instead, I've been eating a lot of sugar free cherry jello lately. It's still kind of sweet, and with it's dictator influenced mini cups, I have portion control, assuming I'll eat just the one. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

The brigade of thoughts I find myself directing towards sustenance, would cause even the faint of humor to stifle a dry laugh. Why not write this down. Why not let the tip of my self proclaimed "neurotic iceberg" show, and let those of you out there (and after working as a food addict counselor, I know you ARE in fact out there) read my ridiculous thoughts, and feel in comparison, slightly more secure in your own skin.

I had a debate yesterday afternoon, between my self, and I. It lasted roughly 58 minutes. The 58 minutes that it took to stumble through my upper body workout with Tony Horton and a couple other "hard bodies" in the p90X series. This is the series said to ''totally shred and make you ripped out of your mind" with that oh-so-BRO attitude that makes you feel like a bad ass for 5 minutes, until you find your morale dropping to a low as you realize it's you've lost your momentum in the warm up. The debate, went as follows:

Self: Well I've only be awake for like 3 hours, and I ate (cut to calculating in my head with my eyes literally looking upwards to do so) like 500 calories tops. So, I can probably do this later on and get more out of it, I definitely don't have the energy stored to execute a feat such as this.

I: Dammit, do this you big baby. HE'S doing it (jutting my chin out towards my work out buddy looking significantly more into it then my self) do NOT quit this, you are such a wimp.

Self: Ya, but I promise I'll do it later, on the roof deck, it'll be cooler, it'll make you breathe better and then you'll get a better work out, let's just quit

And at this point I actually say a version of this thought masked in a positive lucid tone, to my work out buddy, which he shuts down. Well done workout buddy, you did your job! And I begrudgingly carry on with my knee ups and my leaps that are entirely half-ass as I continue to debate things out in my head.

Self: I'm quitting, he's being mean, I won't do this. I'm also going to go eat some cereal, and some of that Redstone chocolate in the freezer, and I'll just quit eating tomorrow, forever, and for some reason, that makes sense to me right now and that's what I'm doing...

I: Dammit Jae, you quit us this time and you'll be whining about the size of your ass for EVER, do it or ill cut your arm off (or something as equally ridiculous, being that I know I will never actually inflict physical pain on myself, but still...)

It went on like this, back and forth, resulting in a headache until I finished the upper body workout. Of course, after finishing such a great work out and feeling the tidal wave splash of endorphins, I was once again a believer in Tony Horton and his brawny band of bros and babes.

Get through it, fight it out, and do it. It's worth it. Upon making it through such a mental mutiny, I feel like I'm bad ass all over again. But to be honest, and I swear dear reader, I always will be, it's 2:14pm and I have 90 minutes of yoga looming in front of me. I'll try and remember how that potent high of endorphins felt after my last work out, and how strong and free it made me feel in this skin of mine. There's of course the fact that there will always be a reason; an excuse, a food, a t.v. show, an ailment, a some thing or an other, that will tempt me to not go through with what is best for my self. The important thing is that I remember that one of my greatest talents...is to ignore! Keep the blinders on and push through it. It's not easy for anyone, all the time.

And so then, I'll depart, I'll sip my soda, and possibly watch the infomercial - p90X: THE PROOF one more time to get me into that downward dog for 90 minutes.

-Jae,TONED ZONE